Well, what the hell.

It's been a while, but Secondhand Jesus is finally ready to get back into the blogging game. Since I last reported in about a year ago, I've wasted plenty of my money on cool stuff, so I can get to some of that maybe later on. I also will be blogging about whatever I find in any store, not just St. Vinny's, because I don't live so close to a Vinny's at the moment, and I don't think anybody will care anyways. Is anybody even reading this? Let's get to it.

I got paid on Friday, and Secondhand Jesus was itching to spend. Spend I did, but have no regrets, as usual. Since I'm keeping Secondhand in the title, I figure I'll get to the secondhand stuff first. This stuff came from The Yard Sale, a store in Laurium, MI if you didn't know. I've spent a lot of time and money there, but it was all worthwhile.

Paperbacks!

I ended up with a lot of science fiction, and though it wasn't intentional, there's something really cool about old sci-fi paperbacks with their strange covers. These are books that feel great to hold in your hand, and they all have that musty smell that belongs in old books. They were a buck or two a piece, which is an acceptable price.

I've read and own the first three Dune books. This is my second copy of Dune and my third copy of Dune Messiah. After watching the Dune film by David Lynch last summer, I fell into a sort of craze, but I'll get to that in a future post. The third book on the top is ten short stories by the author of Dune, Frank Herbert. This is the book I was most excited to purchase, because it was the only one I didn't know existed. Discovery is a great feeling, and goes to show how much better it is to shop in stores rather than online, as I can find items I never knew I wanted until they're in my hand.

I need to read more Vonnegut, so that was a great find, and I've been wanting to read Brave New World for a few years now but haven't seen it secondhand until now. As for The Puppet Masters, I picked that up because I always thought the title was cool, not to mention that the cover kicks ass, and I know Heinlein is a big name in sci-fi books. Now I've got more great reading at my disposal.

I also found a DVD at the Yard Sale, but I'll get to that with the other DVDs. The rest of this shit I got from Wally World.

DVDs!

On the bottom is the first three Alien movies in one regular package, which I found at The Yard Sale for seven bucks. Three movies, seven bucks. You just can't beat that kind of price. The disks all look like they're in pretty good shape, so essentially it was the type of good deal I live for.

On top are two five dollar movies from Wal-Mart. For movies like these, five dollars is a triviality. North by Northwest is one of Alfred Hitchcock's best films, starring Cary Grant in one of his most memorable roles. It's a must see film with everything from comedy to action to suspense to romance. Anyone who hasn't seen this film is seriously missing out. 12 Monkeys is a film by Terry Gilliam, well known for his crazy ass movies. I've only seen it once, but it's just the kind of crazy I like to have on my DVD shelf. After I saw 12 Monkeys I watched the short experimental film it was based on, La Jetee. Both recommended if you're into oddball cinema.

Legos!

As a youngling, Legos were some of my favorite toys, and in retrospect, probably the best toy of all time. Recently, I caught the Lego bug once again, so I came home with a couple small pieces.

 

 This is the Bunny Suit guy from the latest Lego Minifig line. Basically you get a small bag with all the pieces of a mystery figure inside, waiting to be put together. There are twelve or so in all and are marketed as a "Collect Them All" type of deal. I was hoping for a Space Marine, but this guy was like my #2 for obvious reasons. He's just a really crazy guy.

 Avengers Legos! I loved the Avengers movie so much I saw it twice in the theater, so of course I wanted some Legos to go with. This is the Captain America cycle set, which is currently the only Lego set to come with the Captain America minifig. That much alone makes it worth it, but it also comes with two different minifigs of the Chitauri, the villains of the movie.

Though Cap never rides this in the movie, it's still a cool little piece, and makes a great vehicle for Cap. The only downside to this set is the friggin' decals on the two different vehicles. Do they have to be impossible to put on straight? There are no marks on the platic pieces for where the decals should go, so it's up to the buyer to get them on straight on their own. Of further complication is the fact that the decals are clear, which means they pick up every bit of oil or dead skin on your fingers as you try to make it not so obviously diagonal. Decals suck, because they can make or break a toy. If you put them on shitty, you're stuck with that, no matter how cool the toy might be otherwise. Wash your hands before messing with them.

Well that's all I have for this time around. It's been great having something to think about other than my job, so I'll be back with more updates soon. Until then, take it sleazy.

Bite Some Bubbling Brains!

Quite a find today. It took a minute for me to fully absorb what I was looking at, but once it dawned on me my arms suddenly reached out instinctively and reeled it in. Something I haven't seen in years...

Doctor Dreadful Freaky Food Lab (and a few extras)!

Lightning not included.

Please tell me somebody else out there remembers Doctor Dreadful. Along with Creepy Crawlers, it was one of the major toys I had as a kid. Both of them were similarly themed as scary-ish do-it-yourself playsets. Creepy Crawlers were fun to make, but seeing the squishy insects coming out of the oven probably made kids think of gummy snacks. Eating Creepy Crawlers wasn't something that they recommended on the box, though, and that's where Doctor Dreadful came in.

There were multiple Doctor Dreadful playsets. The Freaky Food Lab, which is what you see taking up the left side of the picture above, was the main one, and there was also the Drink Lab, some of which you see on the right of the photo. There was also some sort of Ice Cream Lab, but I never had it and neither did anyone else I knew, so I never tried it. Come to think of it, I don't think any of my friends had Doctor Dreadful, period. I must've been the only one. For this, I am blessed.

There are a few snacks that you can make with the food lab. There's foamy brains, gummy spiders, brains, worms, and wolfman, as well as monster skin. And the best part of the one I bought today? The packets of powder are still with the set! The same goes for the drink lab. The packets were outdated in 2006, which isn't so long ago, and I'm optimistic about the results I'll get whenever I'm feeling brave enough to attempt to create some "Frozen Foamy Filth" or other such concoctions. Some of them are opened, but have been sealed in Ziploc bags, so they're still powdery, and not rock hard. What's the worst that could happen, other than slow painful death?

There were also two unopened refill packets, located in the center of the picture, which also contain recipe cards. The price tags indicating them as reduced Wal-Mart merchandise are still on them. So let's get this all straight: somebody bought the Doctor Dreadful Food Lab. At some point, they also must've bought the Drink Lab, although it may have come secondhand because there are some missing pieces, the biggest being the battery operated pump for the beaker and test tubes. The Drink Lab pieces also appear to be from the original run, that is, the run from when I was a kid, while the Food Lab seems a bit more modern with a bit of stylistic differences. Also, the Food Lab packets are all sealed minus one, while every single drink lab pack is open and in a single plastic bag.

THEN the same people, despite not using the packets they already had, bought two refills packs, and again did not use them. Thus, 5-10 years later, everything gets stuffed into one box and brought to St. Vinnie's, where it is purchased by the Secondhand Savior. Then again, there's a Christmas tag on the outside of the box reading "To Jillian From Santa." Could Santa also have made a pit stop at Wal-Mart on the way over, just to make sure dear Jillian had enough Bubbling Brains to last through puberty? Unfortunately, dear Jillian was a bit of a shit, only sampling a single packet of brain powder before forever rejecting the notion of such a toy's existence. She buried it deep in her closet with everything else she took for granted and forgot about it. Once she was off to college, her parents dug it out and brought it to Vinnie's, probably still pissed that the god damn kid begged for this piece of shit, tried it once and dropped it. They looked to the sky and prayed that Secondhand Jesus would resurrect Doctor Dreadful from the plastic scrapheap.

Anyways, someday soon I'll be giving ole Doc Dread a whirl, so if I don't return with any more posts, you'll know it killed me. Call some paramedics so I don't decompose into the carpet.

Cost of Doctor Dreadful Lab Extravaganza: $2.44

Thppppppppppppppppppppppppp!

Treasure Hunting on a Thursday Morning

You'd be surprised how many people are shopping in St. Vinnie's at ten a.m. on a Thursday. For some, it's a social gathering, sitting along the wall and chatting to one another. For others, it's an opportunity to torture people, like the guy who kept whistling through his teeth and driving me fucking nuts. For most, including myself, it's a way to get the good stuff before some less deserving cretin comes along.

Today was a day of randomness as far as finds go. There were a good amount of things I picked up and put back down, that if I were a richer man might be mine now. However, a budget can be a good thing. It leaves less room for mediocrity. So without further ado, here are some random little finds I came across today.

Wizard of Oz Drinking Glass!

"Sorry Dorothy, but yo' bitch ass is too damn slow."

Everyone loves The Wizard of Oz. You'll love him even more when you take a nice cool drink out of this vintage drinking glass featuring none other than the Oz-man himself! Anytime I see a glass like this with some sort of painted image, I grab it and take a closer look to see who's on it. They made a lot of awesome glass sets back in the day, one of which this glass is no doubt a part.

When I picked the glass up off the shelf, I couldn't tell if it was really scuffed up or just scummy. I picked at a spot with my fingernail and saw that it was flaking off, which was good news (I washed my hands when I got home). I turned the glass over in my hands a few times and saw that there were no chips or cracks, so I thought "what the hell?" When I returned home I gave it a good scrubbing (being mindful of the paint on the outside) and what do you know? A shiny, new Wizard of Oz glass.

There is very little wrong with this glass, which I am quite pleased about. The images and text is close to flawless, and other than a little minor scuffing on the bottom lip, it's quite perfect. So nice, in fact, that I'd hate to actually use it for risk of breaking it or wearing it down. This is the kind of glass best suited for a shelf.

I'm curious about this glass so I checked on ebay to see if I could find out any more about it. I found one immediately here for $10, which the seller calls "rare" and "vintage." I like those words, but they also mention it as being associated with the film, when to me it appears it's more likely associated with the book, as it says "c. Baum" on it. Here's another one that says it's from the 60's. I'm finding a lot more from the series as well, which I will link in case you're interested. There's Dorothy, Glinda, Scarecrow, Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion. Some of these are priced somewhat high, but whether they sell is another story.

From reading one of the ebay listings, apparently these are from something called Swift's Peanut Butter, which supposedly gave "more bounce per ounce." You can interpret that however you like.

Cost of Wizard of Oz Drinking Glass: $1.25

On a less serious note, what else did I find? Oh yeah.

Tamagotchi (Connection)!

 

A key-chain that lives, dies, and takes a crap.

I know some of you remember these things. They were the big thing on the playground for a while, after POGs but before Pokemon Cards. It was something I looked down on for a while, too low-brow for my 4th grade intellectual tastes. That is, until I visited the Toys R' Us in Green Bay and discovered they made a Yoda one, which I promptly bought.

Tamagotchi/Digi-pets/about a million other names and incarnations were basically little "life" simulation games where you raise your pet by feeding it, playing games, and cleaning up after it takes a dump. If you forget to feed it, it will die and forever scar your childhood with an image of a tombstone where your little friend now lies cold and dead. Of course, this led to plenty of kids getting in trouble for trying to feed their pet during class, which bears something of a similarity to today's 4th grade trend: sexting.

What I hold here is no ordinary Tamagotchi. According to the label at the top, this is a Tamagotchi Connection. Where the connection part comes in is an infra-red sensor at the top of the egg shaped casing. According to Wikipedia, the connection had a few capabilities to be used along with a friend's Tamagotchi, enabling you to 1)Play games, 2)Give presents, and 3)Have tamababies. Tamababies? You mean it's possible to get Tamagotchi laid? While the Tamagotchi may be a prisoner trapped in the key-chains of the human race, we don't mind sticking a couple of them together for a quick romp, which truly shows the lengths of human tenderness. I guess that gives a whole new meaning to Tamagotchi "Connection."

What surprises me is the year stamped on the back: 2004, long after Tamagotchi had fallen out of favor, at least on my playground. There's also a sticker on the back, reading, "CAUTION: Battery harmful if swallowed." Really?

What does Tamagotchi mean? Again, as claimed by Wikipedia, "According to Bandai, the name is a portmanteau combining the Japanese word tamago, which means "egg", and the English word "watch" (as in timepiece)."

Cost of Tamagotchi Connection: Unmarked, Cheap.

And last, but certainly not least...

Mario Shaped Ball! Or, Ball Shaped Mario!

Pure awesomeness. I uncovered this in a bin with a bunch of other random toys, grabbing it instinctively before my brain had a chance to fully process the greatness of such a find. Nintendo memorabilia is something I'm not sure I'll ever own enough of. It comes down to the simple fact that Mario rules, and if you don't think so, you're probably some sort of asshole.

Like the glass, I cleaned Mario up when I got him home and was much more satisfied with the purchase afterward. I did a little touching up on the black parts and the red M with Sharpies to enhance the spectacle of my Mario ball. He's looking pretty decent.

Apparently this was a Happy Meal toy back in 2006. Where was I and how the hell did I miss this? Oh right, I was a senior in High School. It wasn't cool to embrace my childhood yet.

I guess the most likely purpose of a Mario ball would be to throw at the wall after getting killed by the same damn turtle for hours on end. Just look at his face. He's ready for it.

Cost of Mario ball: Unmarked, >$1

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I suppose that about wraps it up for this week. As always, comments are encouraged and appreciated! Have a good weekend! Myself, I'll be turning 23 tomorrow.

First Post, First Mission

Well, I've just returned from St. Vinnie's, the first invasion in the name of this blog project. The purpose of this blog is to document the weird/cool/logic-defying items that can only be found in places like St. Vincent de Paul: melting pots for the random items that have been discarded from personal collections for one reason or another. In collecting the odds & ends from various lives, I'll likely be faced with no choice but to speculate about the original owners of these "treasures" and question their motives in both possession and sale of the said items. That about sums it up, I suppose.

The mission began somewhat choppy. As I was backing out of my parking space at home, I got stuck in a big pile of shit, and by shit I mean really sloppy snow, the kind tires are useless against. However, with a few forward and reverse motions and the help of first gear, I was able to escape Lot 5 unscathed.

Another minor setback was when, zoning out, I drove right past St. Vincent's the first time and had to go around the block, a mistake that no doubt cost me a good buy. I'll have to learn to be more careful.

Upon entering the store, I know I was immediately sniffed out as fresh meat by the more experienced and aggressive of the St. Vinnie's customers. I have yet to earn my place among the ranks. I hadn't been in the store five minutes when some lady apparently planned to walk through me. I was between two shelves and couldn't move, so I didn't. She seemed dumbfounded when it appeared she would have to go down a different aisle. That's an important lesson in secondhand shopping: never back down or show fear to your enemy shoppers. Fuck you, lady.

And now, the findings!

DC Comics Pez Dispensers!

Feel that power.

Okay, so not that weird, but I figured I'd kick this blog off with something familiar. Pez Dispensers are awesome, flat out. They're something that I can always remember having, even in my earliest memories, because they're that cool. My first Pez Dispensers were Spider-Man and The Incredible Hulk, who were the best types of friends that a kid could possibly have: ones who let you eat candy out of their little plastic heads. I've added a lot to my collection since those days, from Charlie Brown to Darth Vader. Though I have many Pez Dispensers, I did not have a Wonder Woman Pez Dispenser. Now I do. Feels good.

Though maybe I don't take them as seriously as this guy.

The base on Wonder Woman says "Made in Slovenia." I have no idea where that is. Do they know who Wonder Woman is in Slovenia? I have to ask, because I think Ms. Woman here could easily be mistaken for a Communist Overlord by an ignorant party, what with her solid red body and red star headband. Just saying.

Of interest is the year 1979 stamped on the back of Wonder Woman's head. Whether this piece is actually from 1979 or just the same mold, it's cool to know that Wonder Woman has had Pez representation since then. A big step for women's lib, no doubt.

PSA: It is well advised to wash all Pez Dispensers purchased secondhand before loading them up with Pez. You never know whose mouth has been sucking the candy out.

Cost of Wonder Woman Pez Dispenser: $.96

On a Pez side note, I also found a Riddler Pez Dispenser nearby. While The Riddler is an excellent villian, his Pez Dispenser somehow has less of a stake in the grand scheme of things.

And thus gets a smaller picture.

Cost of Riddler Pez Dispenser: $.96 (same as W.W.)

Mystery CD!

I really have no idea what's on this CD, which is part of the reason it makes a perfect oddball find. I saw it lying there with other assorted media, in only a plain plastic sleeve, with no indication of the contents or even a price for that matter. I knew it must be mine. Looking at the disc, there are no names of legitimate recording companies to be found. Looking at the graffiti background, I can only take shots in the dark as to the true nature of this CD. I'm going to take the plunge and find out what this beast is all about. Be right back.

Bahh, disappointment. Merely a U2 album, "Achtung Baby." Not a ridiculously funny purchase nor a surprise gem. Probably not something I'll hang on to, either, as I've never been big on U2. Apparently somebody else felt the same way, not only destroying the case but leaving the CD to be lost in obscurity.  Maybe I'll give it a chance someday, but for now it's getting pushed aside. Next!

Cost of U2 CD (no case): Unmarked, <$1

Redneck License Plate!

I dare you to find a license plate more redneck than mine.

I took one look at this and smiled. It's the kind of license plate for people who like to give that "I'm a dick" impression to others. I don't know where to begin on this oddity. I guess I'll start with what the message could possibly be. I'm a bit confused as to what being a Confederate has to do with deer. I don't remember learning anything in school about the Battle of Chickamauga being fought over hunting rights. On that note, I have to question the "rebel flags" that I've seen around my home state of Michigan. As Michiganders, we're yanks, not rebs. Also, as yanks, we represent the winning side of the war. Is it wise to jump ship after the opposition has been long defeated?

In relation to the matter of slavery as a keypoint in historical Confederate representation, the stars-and-bars is also viewed as a symbol of racism, frequently known to be displayed during Klan rallies. Is there some sort of prejudicial undertone to this plate? I can't help but get that feeling while looking at it. Why did anybody own it in the first place? The condition is too nice to have ever been on the front of some rusty pickup truck. It probably just hung on the wall of a trailer until it was repossessed by the bank.

I'm trying to imagine what kind of person I would have to be in order to actually use this plate on a vehicle. "I'm racist and I like to huuuuunt," my truck would proudly display as I tossed back a beer and reloaded.

Seriously, though, what the fuck does it mean?

Anyways, I plan to give the plate to some vegetarian friends of mine. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it.

Cost of Bizarre Redneck License Plate: $1.44

Mickey Rap Tape!

whaaa...?

Mickey UnRAPped. It's important to note that Disney really wanted to emphasize the word RAP in the title of the album, as you can see by the fact that it's in a different color from the rest of the word. Clearly, they are trying to inform us that this is a RAP album. With Mickey. Sound like a winner?

Look at Mickey on the cover. See how "hip" and "with it" Mickey Mouse is. Look at his skewed cap. Look at his sagging pants and underwear. Look at his gl-... Hold on a second, is Mickey throwing up some gang signs? Mickey looks like most white dudes I know.

The sad part of this image, to me, is the knowledge that in reality, a bunch of suits were sitting around a board meeting wondering how they could capitalize on the rap market with something as soft as Mickey. "What are kids up to these days? Hat backwards? Baggy pants? The little bastards will never know what hit 'em!"

Just observe the track listing. Ice Ice Mickey. Minnie Mouse in the House. Whoomp!(There It Went). Bow Wow to the Beat (Featuring Whoopi Goldberg). Ducks in the 'Hood. Little Red Rappinghood. Mickey Mouse Club Mix. Club Mix? Gonna jam this in the club? I can only imagine some jackass going into a club and handing this tape to the DJ. "Yo, dawg, this is some real shit!" Minutes later, that guy is dead.

Who's the target audience for a Mickey rap tape, anyway? "Sorry son, you're not old enough for that N.W.A. tape. Here's something a bit more appropriate to your age level." Any kid old enough to want to listen to rap is going to want to listen to the kind that speaks of blunts & bitches, not sad rip-offs of black culture done by popular cartoon characters. It'd be enough to get a guy beat up at school. You fail, Disney.

Also, I don't have a tape player, so I can't actually listen to the tape yet. Hopefully I'll track down a friend with a tape player willing to make the sacrifice of listening to Mickey UnRAPped. Perhaps in a future post I'll make a report on the results.

Cost of Mickey Rap Tape: $.10

Doug Funnie Keychain!

Ahh, Doug. "Doug" was one of the finest cartoons of my childhood, during the golden age of Nickelodeon. I remember many a beautiful summer day sitting inside watching Doug and his adventures with his dog Pork Chop. Behind his back he holds a bouquet of flowers, undoubtedly for the girl of his dreams, Patty Mayonnaise. There were plenty more interesting characters on the show as well, such as Doug's best friend Skeeter Valentine, bully Roger, Chalky the jock, rich girl Bebe, crazy neighbor Mr. Dink, and the mayor who says "vote for me" after everything. Yes, I just drew all that up from memory. I think I deserve a prize.

Doug had everything an early 90's cartoon should: a quirky style, heartwarming tales, and plenty of green and blue faced people. I don't know anybody who doesn't like Doug. It is therefore only natural that there should be a Doug keychain. Who wouldn't want that lovable square protecting them from the dangers of a lost set of keys? It'd be hard to lose any keys with Doug on them, mainly because Doug is four friggin' inches tall. That's a big keychain, which brings relevance to the phrase, "Is that Doug Funnie in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Doug has a button that doesn't do anything sticking out of his back, which means he probably said something at one point. Since he can't be opened by a screwdriver it's unlikely I'll ever find out what Doug's message was. He'll carry his secret to the grave.

Cost of Doug Keychain: Unmarked, <$1

Gooshy Creatures!

Experience the Goosh.

For some reason, I couldn't pass up these buggers after finding them on the shelf and giving them a squeeze. They're just so... gooshy. And since they're best described as "gooshy," they're also responsible for bringing a new word into existence for their purposes. Pretty significant, I'd say.

Cost of Gooshy Gator and Frog: $.59 each

And now, something I purchased purely for my own pleasure...

Original Rocksteady Action Figure!

From the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure line, this Rocksteady figure is dated 1988. I already have Rocksteady. Hell, I might even have two of them, but none of that matters because Rocksteady is such a bad-ass action figure that I'll probably keep buying them at every opportunity purely on principle. I mean, come on, he's a freaking rhino in an army helmet and camo pants! Who wouldn't want that?

While grateful that I was able to make such a fine purchase, I have to question the buffoon who tossed out his Rocksteady figure. What the hell is wrong with you, kid? Don't you know coolness when you see it? People like you make the world a little bit dimmer every day. By the way, you got any more figures for sale?

Cost of Rocksteady Action Figure: Unmarked, <$2

...

Well I guess that about covers it for my first entry. I've been working on this thing for hours now, and if you look you can see my pictures gradually getting darker. I feel pretty accomplished and anxious to continue working in the future.

This post got rather long, so I'll probably be cutting back in upcoming posts, but hopefully amping up the weirdness to compensate. Leave me some comments and let me know what you liked, and also any suggestions you might have. Happy hunting!