Collection Anxiety

So it's come to that time, the end of another semester, and with that, the end of my project. The blog has had a good run, so I'll keep it up when I can. Check back sporadically for updates. Assignment or not, I love to buy the good stuff. The blog also makes a good outlet for showing off the massive amount of various objects I already own, so expect a bit of that as well.

Anyways, I wanted some closure for the project, so I figured I'd update on everything that I've accumulated through my St. Vinnie's explorations. I think a picture would help.

How many entries can you find? Which entries are missing? Which items in the picture
never got an entry? Who really cares?

So now the question is, what to do with all of this stuff? The action figures are keepers, even the ones I already own. I maintain the philosophy that one can never own too many action figures. You never know when you might need that back up. And the giant Leonardo. He has to stay. Most of the glassware I'd like to keep as well, most of all the Wizard of Oz glass, and the kidney coffee mug. Those things rule.

I can't keep it all, sadly, so what to get rid of? Certainly Lord of the Dance (which I haven't watched, in case you were wondering). The Mickey rap tape can go, too (I did listen to it, and it was as shitty as you would expect from a tape featuring rapping Disney characters and Whoopi Goldberg). Doctor Dreadful will probably have to go too, because I just don't think I have the room. I'd like to try to get some money for it, since it has so many unopened packs. As much as I wanted to try some, I couldn't bring myself to open the pack and destroy the value. Maybe I'll open just one...

Well, there you have it. Thanks to everyone who read the blog over the semester. If you're interested in seeing future posts, leave me some comments so I know people still want to read this crap. Secondhand Jesus signing off (for now).

Foils & Feats

I feel like I could type some sort of introduction here, but I don't think I'm going to. I had a great find, a pretty good find, and my first St. Vincent's rip-off. I also somewhat profited from a secondhand item by trading it in at another store for a different piece of merchandise, so I'll be getting to all that, but not necessarily in that order.

Bruce Wayne Action Figure!

I knew that this was a Bruce Wayne right away, because he looks like Michael Keaton. And of course, on his leg is stamped "1990 DC Comics." This places him within the action figure line of the first Tim Burton Batman movie, my personal favorite.

The figure isn't one I would have wanted from the store brand new as a kid, but for a quarter I couldn't pass it up. It is a strange look for Batman, though. Since when does Bruce Wayne go around in a purple turtleneck sweater and black spandex pants tucked into his shoes? And what's with the weird, cryptic bat logo on his chest? Is that his way of avoiding denial without giving himself away? It's not very practical, if that's truly the case.

Cost of Bruce Wayne figure: $.25

RIPOFF: "Spiderman" Game!

Okay, so I saw this Spiderman PlayStation game all wrapped up in a plastic bag with a good, cheap price on it. It's a decent game, so I figured what the hell. Now, the game was wrapped up pretty tight, but I was able to open the case enough to see that there was a disk inside of it, so I figured that would be good enough. Only when I got home did I make the horrible discovery.

Can you see what that is? It sure as hell isn't a Spiderman game. Nope, it's a DEMO DISK from PlayStation magazine, dated August 2001. It's mostly video previews with a single playable demo: Final Fantasy 8. Demo Disks blow. This shit wasn't worth my money, that's for sure. At least there's the old stand-by of the blog to make the event somewhat worthwhile. See, kids? Even Secondhand Jesus gets ripped off sometimes. You can never be too careful.

Cost of Bogus "Game": $1.44

Secondhand Trade-off: Tiny Toon Adventures NES Game!

Okay, so a while back at Vinnie's I happened upon a copy of Killer Instinct for the Super Nintendo. I already own the game, and in fact it came packaged with my Super Nintendo, but the price was right ($1.44) so I figured I could eventually trade it in somewhere for a game I don't have. And what do you know? I was right.

The other day, I had to go to the mall and such to run a few errands, so I took Killer Instinct with me and stopped at the Play N Trade store. They offered to give me $3 store credit, which I happily accepted. I then zeroed in on a game I had wanted since childhood, marked $5.

That's right, Tiny Toon Adventures on the NES. It's a fun game that I remember playing as a kid at a friend's house. I never had my own Nintendo as a kid, so when I got one a couple of years ago, I became driven to collect all the good games my friends had. Tiny Toon Adventures was a great show back in the day, so I'm proud to have this game amongst my collection. Thanks to my secondhand dealings, I was able to get a new game for myself as well as reinsert Killer Instinct, a great game, back into the video game market. I'm sure it will sell from Play N Trade in no time, and a fellow old schooler will have tracked down their own missing classic. It brings a tear to my eye.

Cost of Tiny Toon Adventures: $2 total

Power Rangers Morph Into Math Activity Book!

Whoa, mama. Printed in 1994, this Power Rangers math book has never been marked in those almost twenty years. With the amount of sticky gunk stuck to the cover at first, I could tell this had been sold at more than one store during that time. But who cares about any of that, this is the Power Rangers! If I had been given a Power Rangers math book as a kid, I probably wouldn't have failed at it for twelve years. I was simply trying to learn math, when I should have been morphing into it.

The Rangers attempting to morph into math. Not quite there yet.

Finally. Only those who have truly morphed into math may receive the certificate of power.

I was a fan of Power Rangers in kindergarten, and only the first run of it, mind you. All that turbo, space, time traveling crap was after my time. The first Power Rangers kicked ass. I liked the Black Ranger, who was actually "black." Funny. The Yellow Ranger was Asian. That show was racist.

Cost of Power Rangers Morph Into Math: $.56

More 80's Nostalgia

Hello, folks. Sorry I haven't been posting as much, but it's the end of the semester and I've been busy as hell trying not to drop the ball in the last three weeks before break. I wanted to assure everyone that I haven't been jailed for excessive coolness. Not yet, anyway. So here's a write up on a couple of items, from me to you.

Hand-Painted California Raisin!

.

It was a real bitch getting him to stand on the carpet.

That's right, folks, this is a HAND-PAINTED California Raisin guy. Somebody made this out of their passionate love for the California Raisins and it shows through the red shoes and pipe-cleaner arms. He's a solid block of wood, which means somebody outlined a California Raisin shape on a piece of wood and cut it out with a fancy saw. I don't know about you, but I find this highly amusing. They obviously spent some time hand crafting a California Raisin  for whatever reason people have for doing things like that. Love, I suppose. Love of the California Raisins.

Does everybody remember the California Raisins? Basically they were a claymation/cartoon band used to advertise raisins (shock!) but evolved into something of a bigger entity, getting a cartoon show along with a SHIT-load, and I emphasize shit because it was quite a load, of little rubbery figurines. There was the band of course, with guitar players and drums and whatnot, as well as other raisins doing random things. There were ones doing skateboarding, rollerblading, lounging on the beach, and female raisins doing female things like... standing there, looking pretty.

Well anyways, somebody apparently had quite an obsession with the California Raisins, to the point where the official merchandise wasn't enough. This person had to play raisin-God, and forge a raisin all their own.

Dirty...

Cost of Homemade California Raisin: $.59

Skeletor!!!

Look at him, killing a guy.

Whooooo, I do so love Skeletor. And what a great name! If my name was Skeletor, I would've probably been in far fewer fights as a kid. Nobody fucks with a guy named Skeletor.

In case you're one of those weird people born in the 90's, Skeletor was the bad guy of the cartoon/action figure line "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe." He was kind of a goofball on the cartoon, which kind of eclipsed his evil nature, but that was just a cover-up so kids wouldn't wet their pants at the sight of him tearing off He-Man's head and drinking the blood as it sprays like a fountain. Just look at him, man. He's got a green skull for a head! That makes him the ultimate evil bad-ass, and if Skeletor were real and alive, he'd probably be sleeping with all kinds of hot Gothic chicks.

This version of Skeletor is from 1985, and is a sort of "Battle Damage" Skeletor. The plate on his chest with the bat rolls over twice, with the undamaged side, a single gash side, and then two gashes in the armor side, respectively. It's kind of pointless to me, though, because in my battles, Skeletor would never take damage. He'd just kill He-Man effortlessly and allow evil to rule over the land of Eternia for all time. I'm kind of sick like that.

Cost of Skeletor Battle Damage Figure: $.36

By the Power of Greyskull!

Scuffy Sniffed his Blue Smokestack

I still read kid's books. There, I said it. Kid's books are good for a lot of reasons. They're fun, easy to read, and might come in handy when watching your brother's bratty kid. And they have pictures. Being a kid at heart, I still peruse the children's book section of St. Vincent's. Now and then, I find gold. In this case, literally.

Little Golden Book: Scuffy the Tugboat

Remember Little Golden Books? Some of them are old as hell -- Scuffy here is originally from 1946, reprinted in 1974. Golden books all had that shiny gold binding and are technically hardcover, since the front and back are made of cardboard. Golden Books have a huge line up of that includes Disney, Muppets, and Sesame Street, as well as fairy tales and religion, but I repeat myself. *Ahem.*

Scuffy caught my eye because he's so damned adorable. He's a little red tug boat, and as far as anthropomorphism goes, it rarely gets cuter than that. Just listen to the first page: "Scuffy was sad. Scuffy was cross. Scuffy sniffed his blue smokestack. 'A toy store is no place for a red-painted tugboat,' said Scuffy, and he sniffed his blue smokestack again. 'I was meant for bigger things.'" Hooks you right away, doesn't it? We're pulling for you, Scuffy the Tuboat!

The back cover was the same for most Little Golden Books, and if you take a closer look you'll see that Scuffy is chillin' in the back of Bert's train, which, even if you've never heard of Scuffy, you know he rolls with some happenin' dudes. My personal favorite image is the cat, his eyes triumphant after catching the pink ball. Aww...

The inside cover was the same for most Little Golden Books as well. Thankfully, nobody tagged Scuffy.

Overall, I'm happy with this purchase, except for the fact that it smells like basement. Hopefully leaving it open for an extended amount of time will allow my manly scent to take the place of the musty one.

Cost of Scuffy the Tugboat: $.34

The New Face of Vinnies

Walking into Vinnies today, it was like a brand new store. Apparently over the last week, they've had a big clearance sale and got rid of all the shit I'd looked at a million times. Today, it was a fresh beginning. Oh yes, it was a fresh beginning all right. Before I go on, I'll have to let you know that your ole pal Secondhand Jesus is reeling a bit today, so just keep that in mind if I say something that makes no sense. Shall we begin? It's the 25th of March and I'm more than ready.

Goosebumps Book!

Why's it in my mouth? Shit, I don't know. Who knows where that book has been?!

Yes, the game I found was nice and all, but I was on the look out for the real thing! Today, I found it. An official Goosebumps book, and one of the ones I most fondly remember. See, at one point, Secondhand Jesus was in piano lessons himself, and although he was a bit embarrassed about that fact as a child, in retrospect, it was kind of cool, even though piano teachers are all a bunch of fuckin' weirdo's. If you've ever taken piano lessons, you know what I'm talking about.

So yeah, I really appreciated this book as a second grader. I even had a T-shirt, or maybe it was a long sleeve shirt, but who cares anyway: a shirt with this book cover on the back. I wore it proudly, because even though music is a beautiful gift to bestow upon the world, I still felt like a dork. I also wore plaid pants, BEFORE it was cool. And purple socks, like the kid from Harriet the Spy. So yeah, never question why Secondhand Jesus is such a nut. He took piano lessons and wore purple socks with plaid pants.

Wow, I said almost nothing of Goosebumps. Oh well.

Cost of Goosebumps book: $.56

Shroom Candle!

Not a very good picture. Sorry, I felt the need to stick the featured item in my mouth again.

Secondhand Jesus encourages mind expansion through the psychedelic experience. That is all. Wait a minute... what's with all the jet-black SUV's pulling up outside my apartment? Wow, look at the automatic weapons. Hey, they're headed for my building. Apparently these people are trying to prevent the mass realization that all living beings are of once consciousness, that we're all a force of continuous energy forever recycled on this planet, and that there's no reason to fear death, ever, as long as the Earth continues to exist in its natural cycle of everlasting rebirth. Now they're in my room. I think they mean to shoot m--

Cost of Shroom Candle: $. 74

Okay, folks, now for the mother load (I didn't really get shot by the way).

Batman Light!

Don't be like Secondhand Jesus, kids.

Okay, collectively, I'm more of a Marvel Comics man, but I'd be in denial if I didn't say that individually, Batman is the greatest comic book character of all time. There's not much more to be said, really. Batman kicks that ass. And he's a goofball! He runs around in a bat suit, bat car, bat plane, it's all on the goofy side, if you really think about it. Even so, none of that matters, because I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, that you can find the most hard-ass person you know, I don't care how many fights they've won, I don't care how much time they've served, that person will tell you that Batman is the fuckin' shit, even if it's between throwing gang signs up in your face.

It's kind of funny because Batman is "The Dark Knight," and here, they've made a lamp out of his ass. Suddenly, The Dark Knight isn't quite so dark anymore. It's understandable though, because now, instead of ridding the streets of Gotham of crime, he's staring down the bogeyman that tries to come up from under my bed and eat me. Keep on being a shining beacon of hope, Batman!

The Dark Knight, all lit up.

Cost of Batman Light: $2.95

Oh, and I found this cool mug, too.

No Bullies Mug!

Say no to bullies, yo!

Cost of Anti-Bullies Mug: $.10

And that's it for today. I hope all of that made sense.

The Most Subtly Morbid Coloring Book in the World

In the business of secondhand resurrection, now and then an item comes around that's completely beyond my capacity for understanding the human race. Here, in my hand, is such an item.

Trapper Propaganda Coloring Book!

Okay, maybe I should start with some sort of disclaimer. As a U.P. resident, I'm surrounded by people who take their hunting seriously, to the point where I've seen the urinating-Calvin bumper stickers aimed against "Anti-Hunters." Since I'm not someone who typically likes to be peed on, let me first emphasize the point that I am not anti-hunting. Any action that will put less deer on the highway where I can smash them with my car is fine by me.

Trapping, on the other hand is something different in my eye. In the old days, people needed fur for warm clothes and trapping was a good way to fill that need. Nowadays, though, such practices are no longer necessary for survival, and, I think, seem pretty barbaric in retrospect. I think everybody knows what happens when an animal steps into a steel trap, and I'm sure nobody envies the animal that does. I guess it was the cartoon "David the Gnome" that set me against trapping at a young age. David's fox, Swift, stepped into a trap, and not only was it a grisly sight on his leg, but the poor fox was sad and in pain, and since he was a lovable character, it made me hate the trap. How many movies/cartoons have shown people getting stuck in the traps? Traps don't discriminate. They'll bite whoever steps in them.

All right, enough already. So here's this crazy coloring book, "I Want to be a Trapper," distributed by the "U.P. Trappers Association" to God knows how many poor children. It couldn't have been a big hit, as there's not so much as a hint of crayon, marker, or colored pencil to be found anywhere in the book. After my post is through, I think you'll see why.

Okay, so first the book introduces us to the madmen who thought it was a good idea to make a coloring book based on trapping. The publisher, who apparently pumps this shit out of his own home (creepy), mentions how he'd like to see "the future generation off to the right start." Because, after all, there's nothing more important to the future of our planet than the continuance of trapping.

The "artist" is obviously another nutjob, who scored his first kill on Christmas Day, of all things. He goes on about how he's filling his kids heads with the idea that trapping is the best god-damned thing in the whole entire universe. And the best way to ensure that other kids get the message? Give 'em a coloring book! Yeah, kids love coloring books, right? And when they start coloring our beautiful pictures, they'll just absorb the idea that trapping is the key to salvation. Now, let's see that first picture!

Oh shit, maybe this whole coloring book wasn't such a good idea. When a kid picks up a crayon and a coloring book, what is it that he/she is going to want to color? Something interesting, perhaps! Somehow, two kids in galoshes shopping for bait just doesn't fit that description. The artist should have included a robot or something.

The next page is where it starts to get creepy. Click on the picture and get a better look at the boy's face. See that distant, vaguely-smiling, excited look he's wearing? That's the look of a psychopath, and get ready, because he's going to be wearing it for the rest of the book. Even in this picture, he's staring at his own sister's ass while she sets up her traps.

Also seen in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, Friday the 13th pt. 1-99, etc.

Look, look, look! Look at their faces! Don't you see it? Those are the faces of incestuous Aryan mental-jobs hungry for the kill! The girl is obviously as equally out there as her brother.

Girl Power.

Now the book begins to get more interesting. Instead of the shitty drawings of the kids on their murderous rampage, we get nicely done pictures of the animals. The same animals about to be killed by the traps.

"This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!"

Funny how the only pictures worth coloring in the whole book are the animals under attack by those heartless kids. Color one leg red and bloody.

Wow, these kids are really equipped. They obviously know what they're doing. I bet they grow up to be sexual sadists, keen with every device in the BDSM dungeon.

^If you kill this guy, I won't mind.

Soon to be somebodies coat. Or the coat on some body.

Not playing possum. Just dead.

This picture, oh boy... So when the mommy goes out for food, she gets killed in a trap, and then all the babies die from starvation! Yay! Hand me some fuckin' crayons!

Only a true asshole would ever harm a beaver.

Emmet Otter's Jugband Death

Those eyes, again. Lee, you creepy bastard. And then there's Laura getting all voyeuristic over a dead animal. Something is very, very wrong here.

The horror... The horror...

Future Ed Gein.

This is by far the most disturbing image in the book. Up front you've got Crazy Lee grinning and slicing up a coon, and in the back of the murder shack Laura is admiring all those lovely, lovely skins. Mostly, though, Lee is the creepy one. No person of sane mind can wear such a happy nonchalant expression while cutting up an animal with a huge blade. Lee is a backwoods maniac you never want to cross. Then again, if you step in his trap, there's no escape. He'll be wearing your skin and dancing beneath the moon.

Hehe, look at all the things we can kill with traps!

Seig Heil!

So yeah, that's the entire coloring book available for viewing, because that's how much I love you.

I can see it in my mind: some kid, somewhere was given this coloring book for free, probably at some sort of school function or something, shit, I don't know. Either way, they probably flipped through it once, saw that it was a bunch of crap, and buried it away on a shelf where they'd never have to look at it until they decided to donate it and pass it along to another poor victim. I guess the publisher really flubbed on the goal of passing on the beauty of trapping, because this coloring book makes it look like a bunch of shit.

Cost of Trapping Coloring Book: $.56

Mystery of the Kidney Mug Revealed!

I just wanted to post a quick update to announce that, thanks to my mom, I know what the cartoon kidney and the rest of the organs were produced for. It's the drug ACTOS. Here's a labeled picture of all the organs/other thingamabob's in their series.

A Couple of Mugs

Is it Monday already? I'm sure if you checked out some useless scientific data, you'd find that Monday is the weekday with the highest amount of coffee consumption. However, if you're tired of drinking from a boring paper or Styrofoam cup, you oughta step it up with a stylish mug. You'll be looking cool, and at the same time not filling up a landfill, or littering on my lawn. If you're looking for an edge over your coffee drinking peers, you might consider one of these.

Let's start with the guy on the right.

Kidney Mug!

I'm familiar with the line of cartoon organs that were used by some medical company on a variety of products, and when I saw this mug on the shelf, I recognized it to be so. When I turned him over, sure enough, stamped on his foot was "KIDNEY." All of the cartoon organs were amusing, but unfortunately I can't seem to find any information about them at the moment. If anybody knows anything more about the organs, post a comment and let me know. The only other identified mug I was able to find was the stomach, and the person didn't have any more information about it. You can see what that looks like here. There's also a group shot of a few, but I can't say I'm medically inclined enough to know what they all are, although one is surely a liver. See it here.

Anyways, the fact that the medical company responsible somehow succeeded in transforming something like an internal organ into something cute enough to drink coffee out of is nothing short of miraculous. You'll no doubt be the talk around the water cooler when you emerge from your cubicle with one of these babies in hand.

Cost of Kidney Mug: $.10

Joe Camel Mug!

You know, I really miss Joe Camel. I'm not sure there's ever been a cartoon character as cool as Joe. He always wore sunglasses, and he was always smoking. The slogan isn't "Smooth Character" for nothing. I don't remember the names of the other Camel characters, but they were nearly as cool as Joe, dressed to the nines and puffing away.

Perhaps some of you are too young to remember Joe Camel, so here's the rundown. He was an extremely popular character used to advertise Camel cigarettes, but eventually some whiny Americans began questioning whether using a cartoon to sell cigarettes wasn't influencing children to smoke. Then late one night, some unidentified figures in windpants were seen entering Joe Camel's apartment building. The next morning he was found burned to death in his bed. The coroner concluded he'd fallen asleep smoking, but many felt that there were still questions unanswered, spawning a mass of conspiracy theories which to this day have not been silenced.

Where the merchandise comes in, such as my fantastic mug, is with Camel Cash. With more crackdowns on smoking these days, it's unlikely that there are still rewards to be won by more smoking, but back in the day, each pack of Camels would come with one Camel Cash note stuck to the back. The notes could then be collected and used to buy merchandise from their official catalog. Marlboro did much the same thing with Marlboro Miles. The prizes weren't just crap, either. They ranged from the smaller items like the mug I bought all the way up to camping equipment, even electronics. All I can say is I'm glad someone else did the smoking so that I could enjoy the mug. It's a good mug, an edgy mug. RIP Joe. Your coolness lives on. In cancer cells.

Cost of Joe Camel Mug: $.25

So yeah, mugs! Mugs are fun, and mugs are cool. Mugs are real neat. I think I like mugs. These mugs are also related, because smoking is bad for your kidneys.

Bite Some Bubbling Brains!

Quite a find today. It took a minute for me to fully absorb what I was looking at, but once it dawned on me my arms suddenly reached out instinctively and reeled it in. Something I haven't seen in years...

Doctor Dreadful Freaky Food Lab (and a few extras)!

Lightning not included.

Please tell me somebody else out there remembers Doctor Dreadful. Along with Creepy Crawlers, it was one of the major toys I had as a kid. Both of them were similarly themed as scary-ish do-it-yourself playsets. Creepy Crawlers were fun to make, but seeing the squishy insects coming out of the oven probably made kids think of gummy snacks. Eating Creepy Crawlers wasn't something that they recommended on the box, though, and that's where Doctor Dreadful came in.

There were multiple Doctor Dreadful playsets. The Freaky Food Lab, which is what you see taking up the left side of the picture above, was the main one, and there was also the Drink Lab, some of which you see on the right of the photo. There was also some sort of Ice Cream Lab, but I never had it and neither did anyone else I knew, so I never tried it. Come to think of it, I don't think any of my friends had Doctor Dreadful, period. I must've been the only one. For this, I am blessed.

There are a few snacks that you can make with the food lab. There's foamy brains, gummy spiders, brains, worms, and wolfman, as well as monster skin. And the best part of the one I bought today? The packets of powder are still with the set! The same goes for the drink lab. The packets were outdated in 2006, which isn't so long ago, and I'm optimistic about the results I'll get whenever I'm feeling brave enough to attempt to create some "Frozen Foamy Filth" or other such concoctions. Some of them are opened, but have been sealed in Ziploc bags, so they're still powdery, and not rock hard. What's the worst that could happen, other than slow painful death?

There were also two unopened refill packets, located in the center of the picture, which also contain recipe cards. The price tags indicating them as reduced Wal-Mart merchandise are still on them. So let's get this all straight: somebody bought the Doctor Dreadful Food Lab. At some point, they also must've bought the Drink Lab, although it may have come secondhand because there are some missing pieces, the biggest being the battery operated pump for the beaker and test tubes. The Drink Lab pieces also appear to be from the original run, that is, the run from when I was a kid, while the Food Lab seems a bit more modern with a bit of stylistic differences. Also, the Food Lab packets are all sealed minus one, while every single drink lab pack is open and in a single plastic bag.

THEN the same people, despite not using the packets they already had, bought two refills packs, and again did not use them. Thus, 5-10 years later, everything gets stuffed into one box and brought to St. Vinnie's, where it is purchased by the Secondhand Savior. Then again, there's a Christmas tag on the outside of the box reading "To Jillian From Santa." Could Santa also have made a pit stop at Wal-Mart on the way over, just to make sure dear Jillian had enough Bubbling Brains to last through puberty? Unfortunately, dear Jillian was a bit of a shit, only sampling a single packet of brain powder before forever rejecting the notion of such a toy's existence. She buried it deep in her closet with everything else she took for granted and forgot about it. Once she was off to college, her parents dug it out and brought it to Vinnie's, probably still pissed that the god damn kid begged for this piece of shit, tried it once and dropped it. They looked to the sky and prayed that Secondhand Jesus would resurrect Doctor Dreadful from the plastic scrapheap.

Anyways, someday soon I'll be giving ole Doc Dread a whirl, so if I don't return with any more posts, you'll know it killed me. Call some paramedics so I don't decompose into the carpet.

Cost of Doctor Dreadful Lab Extravaganza: $2.44

Thppppppppppppppppppppppppp!

Shrieks and Spiders

Are you within approximately five years of my age (23. Sad, I know.) AND someone who read as a child? If so, then you'll probably draw some connection to today's spotlight item. Hell, maybe you will anyways. It's a small world, after all.

What I have today is a

Goosebumps Shrieks and Spiders Game!

Shrieks. And spiders.

Being a lifelong horror fiend, the Goosebumps books by R.L. Stein were the perfect thing to read in the Second Grade. For a while, it seemed like everyone was reading them. It was hard not to, with the scary covers and intriguing names, such as "The Cuckoo Clock of Doom," "It Came From Beneath the Sink," "The Beast from the East," and, of course, "The Horror at Camp Jellyjam."

Many of the books were adapted into half hour bits for a Goosebumps TV show, which I believe played on Fox Kids. The show was pretty good, but I always thought "Are You Afraid of the Dark" was better. It was really a matter of preference, I suppose.

Reading the books today, they seem extremely short and on the predictable side, but that's to be expected. After all, they're kids books, and for kids, they're worthwhile, or at least they were in the 90's. The important thing is that kids were reading.

As far as the game goes, it looks like it could be fun. The back of the box makes it sound like a real gem:
"Do you see the MUMMY -- or the DUMMY? Stay calm. Flip. Is that the MONSTER -- or the HAMSTER? (Did you just feel a cold draft?) Flip again...
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! It's CURLY the Skeleton!"
I bet you wish you had this game.

For some reason, this.

Upon opening the box, I was like, "Sweet! POGs!" Apparently, you use POGs for part of the game. I'm surprised they're all still with the game. I'm sure plenty of kids soon abandoned the rest of the game in favor of the POGs and began using them to gamble on the playground. In fact, I'm pretty sure I won a couple of these same POGs off of a kid back in the day, with my awesome slammer-jammer skills. If you don't know anything about POGs, then just pretend.

The game is basically all about flipping cards, grabbing POGs and plastic spiders, shouting "Goosebumps!" and not much else, which are pretty much all the necessary elements of greatness. I haven't actually read the rules, but from what I've gathered, that's the gist of it.

The game looks to have been passed around, but I'm not gonna make a hooker joke. Anyways, it's hard to know how much something costs when there are three different price tags from what are clearly three different businesses. I knew which one was the St. Vinnie's tag, but just to be sure, I covered up the less appealing prices with another item when I placed it on the checkout. Such tactics never hurt a smart consumer.

Cost of Goosebumps Shouting POG Spider Game: $.74

I'm feeling a bit hungry at the moment, so I'm gonna go out and munch some brain. That's all, folks.