The New Face of Vinnies

Walking into Vinnies today, it was like a brand new store. Apparently over the last week, they've had a big clearance sale and got rid of all the shit I'd looked at a million times. Today, it was a fresh beginning. Oh yes, it was a fresh beginning all right. Before I go on, I'll have to let you know that your ole pal Secondhand Jesus is reeling a bit today, so just keep that in mind if I say something that makes no sense. Shall we begin? It's the 25th of March and I'm more than ready.

Goosebumps Book!

Why's it in my mouth? Shit, I don't know. Who knows where that book has been?!

Yes, the game I found was nice and all, but I was on the look out for the real thing! Today, I found it. An official Goosebumps book, and one of the ones I most fondly remember. See, at one point, Secondhand Jesus was in piano lessons himself, and although he was a bit embarrassed about that fact as a child, in retrospect, it was kind of cool, even though piano teachers are all a bunch of fuckin' weirdo's. If you've ever taken piano lessons, you know what I'm talking about.

So yeah, I really appreciated this book as a second grader. I even had a T-shirt, or maybe it was a long sleeve shirt, but who cares anyway: a shirt with this book cover on the back. I wore it proudly, because even though music is a beautiful gift to bestow upon the world, I still felt like a dork. I also wore plaid pants, BEFORE it was cool. And purple socks, like the kid from Harriet the Spy. So yeah, never question why Secondhand Jesus is such a nut. He took piano lessons and wore purple socks with plaid pants.

Wow, I said almost nothing of Goosebumps. Oh well.

Cost of Goosebumps book: $.56

Shroom Candle!

Not a very good picture. Sorry, I felt the need to stick the featured item in my mouth again.

Secondhand Jesus encourages mind expansion through the psychedelic experience. That is all. Wait a minute... what's with all the jet-black SUV's pulling up outside my apartment? Wow, look at the automatic weapons. Hey, they're headed for my building. Apparently these people are trying to prevent the mass realization that all living beings are of once consciousness, that we're all a force of continuous energy forever recycled on this planet, and that there's no reason to fear death, ever, as long as the Earth continues to exist in its natural cycle of everlasting rebirth. Now they're in my room. I think they mean to shoot m--

Cost of Shroom Candle: $. 74

Okay, folks, now for the mother load (I didn't really get shot by the way).

Batman Light!

Don't be like Secondhand Jesus, kids.

Okay, collectively, I'm more of a Marvel Comics man, but I'd be in denial if I didn't say that individually, Batman is the greatest comic book character of all time. There's not much more to be said, really. Batman kicks that ass. And he's a goofball! He runs around in a bat suit, bat car, bat plane, it's all on the goofy side, if you really think about it. Even so, none of that matters, because I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, that you can find the most hard-ass person you know, I don't care how many fights they've won, I don't care how much time they've served, that person will tell you that Batman is the fuckin' shit, even if it's between throwing gang signs up in your face.

It's kind of funny because Batman is "The Dark Knight," and here, they've made a lamp out of his ass. Suddenly, The Dark Knight isn't quite so dark anymore. It's understandable though, because now, instead of ridding the streets of Gotham of crime, he's staring down the bogeyman that tries to come up from under my bed and eat me. Keep on being a shining beacon of hope, Batman!

The Dark Knight, all lit up.

Cost of Batman Light: $2.95

Oh, and I found this cool mug, too.

No Bullies Mug!

Say no to bullies, yo!

Cost of Anti-Bullies Mug: $.10

And that's it for today. I hope all of that made sense.

Shrieks and Spiders

Are you within approximately five years of my age (23. Sad, I know.) AND someone who read as a child? If so, then you'll probably draw some connection to today's spotlight item. Hell, maybe you will anyways. It's a small world, after all.

What I have today is a

Goosebumps Shrieks and Spiders Game!

Shrieks. And spiders.

Being a lifelong horror fiend, the Goosebumps books by R.L. Stein were the perfect thing to read in the Second Grade. For a while, it seemed like everyone was reading them. It was hard not to, with the scary covers and intriguing names, such as "The Cuckoo Clock of Doom," "It Came From Beneath the Sink," "The Beast from the East," and, of course, "The Horror at Camp Jellyjam."

Many of the books were adapted into half hour bits for a Goosebumps TV show, which I believe played on Fox Kids. The show was pretty good, but I always thought "Are You Afraid of the Dark" was better. It was really a matter of preference, I suppose.

Reading the books today, they seem extremely short and on the predictable side, but that's to be expected. After all, they're kids books, and for kids, they're worthwhile, or at least they were in the 90's. The important thing is that kids were reading.

As far as the game goes, it looks like it could be fun. The back of the box makes it sound like a real gem:
"Do you see the MUMMY -- or the DUMMY? Stay calm. Flip. Is that the MONSTER -- or the HAMSTER? (Did you just feel a cold draft?) Flip again...
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! It's CURLY the Skeleton!"
I bet you wish you had this game.

For some reason, this.

Upon opening the box, I was like, "Sweet! POGs!" Apparently, you use POGs for part of the game. I'm surprised they're all still with the game. I'm sure plenty of kids soon abandoned the rest of the game in favor of the POGs and began using them to gamble on the playground. In fact, I'm pretty sure I won a couple of these same POGs off of a kid back in the day, with my awesome slammer-jammer skills. If you don't know anything about POGs, then just pretend.

The game is basically all about flipping cards, grabbing POGs and plastic spiders, shouting "Goosebumps!" and not much else, which are pretty much all the necessary elements of greatness. I haven't actually read the rules, but from what I've gathered, that's the gist of it.

The game looks to have been passed around, but I'm not gonna make a hooker joke. Anyways, it's hard to know how much something costs when there are three different price tags from what are clearly three different businesses. I knew which one was the St. Vinnie's tag, but just to be sure, I covered up the less appealing prices with another item when I placed it on the checkout. Such tactics never hurt a smart consumer.

Cost of Goosebumps Shouting POG Spider Game: $.74

I'm feeling a bit hungry at the moment, so I'm gonna go out and munch some brain. That's all, folks.