Favorites from the Road

Well it's been a great deal of months, so if there's anyone out there reading this, congratulations on becoming my biggest fan. Though I've really wanted to get a new post out sooner, I've been extremely busy with all of life's important distractions.

Above: Distractions

It's been a long road since June or July or whenever I last updated, but suffice it to say I'm settled down just a couple short blocks away from the St. Vincent de Paul thrift store of Marquette, my stomping grounds of olde. Anyone who's read this blog before knows I can't help but creep around a thrift store, amassing the gems. Money spent on cool junk you might not really need is always money well spent.

So while there's no way I'm emotionally capable of covering all the great merchandise I've picked up (best to ease back into this blog after abstaining for so long), I grabbed a few favorites to share with you, my biggest fan.

I tried to get a good mix so as not to cause my limited audience to check the site for an update on a whim, only to become immediately bored with what I'm throwing down. Cool, weird, dumb and silly may all be found within.

I'd like to start with some familiar territory.

ROKKON ACTION FIGURE ROCK GUY!

In a $2.50 grab bag with some wrestling guys and wooden blocks that appear to have been painted by mental patients were three figures hailing from the Masters of the Universe (MOTU) action figure line, aka He-Man, the most powerful man in the universe. Out of these three, the only one I didn't already own was Rokkon, the Stone Warrior.

Released in 1985, the line had already been going for a few years when Rokkon came out, and though I love the Masters, I can't help but admit they were grasping at straws when they created Rokkon, who was marketed to children based solely on his ability to turn into a rock.

Missing from my Rokkon is the gun accessory, which would plug into the hole in his chest and make him absolutely impenetrable while in "rock mode." Cool.

As for "rock mode," it gets even worse when you realize it looks less like a rock than it does Rokkon bending over, smelling his own farts.

You know it does.

NOVELIZATION OF HALLOWEEN III!
Halloween III: Season of the Witch, better known as "That stupid one without Michael Myers," is undoubtedly the most shat upon entry in the series. Considering Halloween: Resurrection featured Busta Rhymes beating the hell out of Michael Myers with a slew of WWE wrestling moves, that's an achievement.

If you don't know much about the Halloween series, you're a weenie, and you're probably wondering why a movie three parts into a series is missing its main attraction. *Spoilers* Basically, Halloween wasn't originally intended to be about Michael Myers, which is why he is pretty convincingly killed at the end of Halloween 2. The series was instead supposed to focus on the many terrors that can happen on Halloween. I think that was a cool idea, but people were so pissed at the lack of Michael Myers that to this day, nobody can even tell you what Halloween III is about. Any mention of it just raises complaint about his absence, and people start scratching their heads over why it was even made. The next film in the series was Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers, and he's been back ever since (He actually appears once in Halloween III, on a television screen).

Not that Halloween III is a good movie. It's pretty damn silly when it comes down to it. The movie is about how the Silver Shamrock Mask Company wants to kill all the little kiddies with masks implanted with computer chips containing a piece of Stonehenge. On every television throughout the film, you're basically bashed over the head with the Silver Shamrock commercials counting down the days to Halloween with this jingle: (Warning: Video may cause seizure)

And that's just the final version. When the movie starts, Halloween is still eight days away, which means EIGHT MORE DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN EIGHT MORE DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN SIL-VER SHAMROCK and so on and so forth. The reason Silver Shamrock is counting down is because on Halloween night, all the little kiddies are supposed to put on their Stonehenge-tainted maskies and watch the magic pumpkin on their television. Whatever the kids expect out of it, they would instead get their heads turned to poisonous bugs, spiders, snakes and other creeps. The nasty creatures would then kill anyone else in the vicinity, i.e. the parents. Since this is something of a witchy movie, being in the title and all, I guess the whole turning kids heads into bugs thing is supposed to be some kind of pagan sacrifice or something. Oh, and the Silver Shamrock company has androids working for it. Androids that look exactly like pee-pul.

But it's not terrible. And I'm really digging that pumpkin mask (they actually sold all the masks as a promo). Like many B-movies, there's at least some part of the movie that makes it watchable. For me, it's the part where a kid's head turns into bugs.

Now you can see why I'd want to own this in novel form. Bonus! Two stickers, ET and a scratch-and-sniff apple, stuck to the inside cover.

Thanks, slob.

SHE-RA GOLDEN BOOK!

Straight out of 1985 comes this very pink hardcover book, She-Ra, the Princess of Power, also known as the kind of thing thrift store dreams are made of.

Male or Female, only fools don't get down with She-Ra, He-Man's twin sister. Separated at birth, He-Man protects Eternia from Skeletor, while She-Ra protects Etheria from the Evil Horde. When He-Man started getting stale in the mid-eighties, She-Ra was created with her own show and toy line (though the Horde was sold with the MOTU line), breathing new life into the franchise.

Bad ass interpretation by *nebezial on deviantART

As far as the contents of this book are concerned, there seems to be a real lack in production value. The drawings are okay, though any half decent illustrator could replicate them quite easily. Here are two of my favorite spreads:

One picture looks like complete shit because the artist obviously didn't know how to draw two female bodies trapped in a net and piled on top of each other. Where did he learn to draw?

What the Hell is going on?

The writing is bad, in that "long story short" kind of way. Here's an example paragraph:

"Adora picked up the Sword of Protection. She could not stop looking at the bright glow. She didn't see the rebels climb the wall. They captured her by surprise, and she dropped the sword."

Not so Golden, but I don't care. In fact, its badness just adds to the overall charm. Apparently this is the first book in a set of four, so you know I'm watching for the other three.

...

And now, for the grand-daddy of all thrift store finds in recent history, I give to you...

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MAKING OF THE COMING OUT OF THEIR SHELLS TOUR VHS!

*heeeeeeep* That's right, I hold in my hands this ridiculous and moderately rare ($8-$30 eBay asking prices, few listings) VHS tape from 1990, sometimes known as "Behind the Shells." This is a full blown 30 minute documockumentary following four guys dressed like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) during their live concert tour, "Coming Out of Their Shells." What they really do is jump around on stage and pretend to rock while everything plays from the background.

The thing that makes this movie ridonkulous is they treat the turtles like real people. Yeah, they really run with it. I can't give specifics without watching the damn thing again right now, but take my word for it. Now, that might have been okay had the turtles appearance been up to par with how they looked in the first movie.

.. but they look like shit. Their mouths rarely move, even during close-up interviews. And what's with that bondage gear? They look more ready for a leather dungeon than rock and roll. I'm not even going to get into the feet: two-towed, green and glorious in the original film, now just some cheap white sneaks. Obviously this was at the point when the turtle money tit had practically run dry, requiring squeezing to the point of bruises and swelling. Around this period was the only time in history that it would have been uncool to love TMNT.

The VHS features the turtles hit single "You Can Count On Us." Give this a listen and see if it's not in your head all day:

So if seeing a guy in a turtle suit try to pretend-bash on a drum with no discernible sense of rhythm is your cup of tea, you ought to see the turtles come out of their shells, on The Coming Out of Their Shells Tour.

Interesting side note: the whole tour was sponsored by Pizza Hut. Didn't know that? You would if you watched this tape. My favorite part is when some Pizza Hut bigwig is addressing a room full of kids about the success of his bullshit marketing campaign while the kids all wear the expression of "Derp... Where the turtles at?" Then the four clowns come out doing their cheap turtles impersonations to thunderous applause while the pizza exec sits back and no doubt thinks "I don't get it, but there's money here."

And for a real stinger, here's April O'Neil's bit:

I can't begin to imagine how much fun it was for the five- to ten-year-olds watching in the thousands to sit through that monstrosity. I mean, who paid to see April O'Neil?

The actual concert had its own VHS. If you have it, send it my way. In exchange, I'll tattoo your name inside the crack of my buttocks.

Oh, and Splinter looks like shit.

Dune: My Ongoing Fascination

Arrakis. Dune. Desert Planet. Where to begin? I'm not sure when I first heard the name "Dune," but until a couple of years ago I only had a vague idea of what it was. A book? A movie? A TV series? Turns out it's all three.

A first edition copy of Dune will fetch prices upwards of $10,000, even copies with heavy wear

 As in most cases, the book came first. Written by Frank Herbert and first published in 1965 (by a publisher whose normal business was auto repair manuals; Dune had been rejected by more than twenty publishers), Dune went on to win the Hugo and Nebula awards, and is commonly accepted to be the world's highest selling science fiction novel. It's quite complex in its layers, but at the center is Paul Atreides, a displaced ducal heir who becomes the prophesized messiah for the people of the Arrakeen desert, the Fremen. Taking the name Muad'Dib, Paul leads the Fremen in a massive revolt against the emperor, eventually seizing the throne and bringing the universe under a new rule.

There's much more to Dune than Paul, of course. The spice Melange, mostly just referred to as "The Spice," is a kind of crazy mind expanding hallucinogen found only on the planet Arrakis, also known as Dune. It serves all kinds of purposes, from psychic abilities to the ability to fold space, allowing for instantaneous travel. There's House Harkonnen, the sworn enemies of House Atreides, whose vile methods are in sharp contrast to the noble Atreides, making them the perfect villains for the story. And of course, there are the sand worms, Shai-Hulud, "the old man of the desert," who make traveling in the desert a deadly peril, and always disrupt production of the spice mines. These beasts are massive, anywhere from 100-400 meters long. What makes them extra kick-ass is that the Fremen have mastered the art of riding the worms, giving them power over the great killing machine.

Somebody's Lego interpretation of Dune. Pure genius.

My first experience with Dune was not through the book, however, but the 1984 David Lynch film. I had known about this film for few years, but didn't hear much about it other than it was supposedly really long. A few people I knew told me that they liked it, so I wanted to give it a shot, at least. It wasn't until a year ago that I finally got around to it, getting the DVD from Netflix. I was going through a David Lynch phase, watching all of his films, and Dune was one of the last I had left to watch. I started to hear that this was a bad film from some online sources, including that it was Lynch's one film that he himself disowned, but I wondered how bad it could possibly be. I was intrigued by the screenshots and brief descriptions I had seen, and it was a David Lynch film, after all. I had a sneaking suspicion I would enjoy this film. I was right.

Above: The greatest Dune poster you will ever see

From the opening scene with the crazy faced orange alien (a third-stage Guild Navigator) talking about the new machines on Ix, I knew I was in for a hell of a spice trip. The rest of that first viewing was more or less an assault on my powers of perception, and at the end I wasn't sure exactly what I had just seen but knew that I was in love with it. My next priority was to find the book and get to the bottom of whatever dimension I had been given a taste.  When I failed to find it at any flea markets or secondhand stores, I bought a seventeen dollar Bible-esque copy from a Borders Books in Pennsylvania. Seeing as Borders seems to be going by the wayside, it's a nice sentimental detail to go along with Dune.

Yes, it's bigger than Muad'Dib.

From page one, I loved this book. It was one I was always excited to pick up and read, and from a book, one can't ask for more. I also got a hold of another copy of the movie and started watching the parts up to the point where I was in the book, gaining a far greater understanding of the film. I also came across a great amount of differences between the two, and while I was at first mystified by some of the things created by Lynch for the film, I came to love them. Now I appreciate both the book and the film for their own qualities.

Paul-Muad'Dib (Kyle MacLachlan) wearing a Weirding Module, one of Lynch's creations for the film.

What really intrigues me about Dune is that, not only is it unlike any other Science-Fiction film, it is unlike any other film, period. I feel this is to due with the multitude of elements at work on all levels. The themes of the film range from politics to religion to ecology and on. The visuals contain a strange and interesting blend of old-fashioned style royal castles and costumes with gnarly space suits and ships. There are dream sequences as well as the repeated motifs common in a Lynch film. There is romance, warfare, betrayal, and revenge. Obviously, it is a difficult film to summarize in typical fashion, which no doubt contributed to the fact that most critics were completely confounded by the film. That Dune has become a cult phenomenon suggests that this is a film ahead of its time. Critics missed the boat, as they often do. Fuck the critics.

Also, this movie has STING.

But the intrigue doesn't stop at the film itself. In the early eighties prior to its release, the Dune film was a huge deal, and the producers tried to push it as the next Star Wars-type science-fiction hit, resulting in a massive marketing campaign that of course failed, but gloriously so. The reason being is that Dune is no Star Wars. It is a much colder and darker science-fiction vision, so the mass appeal of Star Wars is not present here. The most incredible aspect is how hard they tried to sell Dune, a PG-13 movie, to kids. Somehow, power struggles between interplanetary fiefdoms over mining contracts and mind expanding drugs didn't go over on kids as much as they originally planned. Regardless of the inevitable failure in making Dune something it wasn't, a huge variety of Dune related products were released to consumers and took their place in history.

From left to right: The Beast Rabban, Stilgar, Paul Atreides, Baron Harkonnen, Feyd-Rautha. Not pictured: Sardaukar Warrior

At the forefront of the merchandising charge, as is common in these cases, was the action figure line. Like most things related to the Dune movie, these mostly just sat on store shelves. Released by LJN Toys, who were also behind the Thundercats figures, they're all figures of quite a nice craft. Made of solid durable plastic, they stand above five inches, making them larger than the popular GI Joe and Star Wars figure lines by an inch or more. Perhaps this was another reason why the line failed, as figures were in transition from large and bulky to smaller and more posable. Despite all that, this is an impressive looking lot of figures that manages to capture the weird vibe of the film.

There is a high probability that this will be the only Sting action figure ever.

So far, I've only managed to collect five of the six action figures, but only two have any accessories. Feyd has the box with the cat with a rat strapped to it from that one scene in the film (yep), and the Baron is complete with his one accessory, the suspensor belt that allows him to levitate in the film. I don't even know how many Barons I have, but it's at least three, because he came sold with other figures a couple times. He is probably the most common figure.  The most sought after is the Sardaukar Warrior, and I haven't managed to get my hands on one of those yet. They show up on eBay now and then, but typically the price goes beyond my meager budget in a hurry. Someday, someday.

The fun doesn't stop there, because there are also some vehicles to accompany the figures, including one they can actually ride in. Better than vehicles however is the Sand Worm. Yes, a toy Sand Worm from 1984, posable from two joints and detailed to look a great deal like its film counterpart, this is the crown jewel of the Dune toys. I'd be willing to bet this is one of the best toys from the eighties, if not the most underrated. It's a SAND WORM toy. How much better does it get? Oh, I don't have this either. :(

Plenty of things got the Dune treatment in an attempt to hype the film. There were bedsheets, pajamas, party favors, and even a lunch box/thermos combination from Aladdin. One of the rarest items today is the Dune 3D Viewmaster set. Those sell for over a hundred bucks easy.

My personal favorites out of the pile of Dune merchandise, however, would have to be the five coloring/activity books. Those things are INSANE, and I am proud to say I own them ALL.

This is where it gets really mind blowing, because unlike action figures, these seem to be explicitly written for a younger audience, and yet not for a younger audience at all. Though they tried their best, the adult oriented themes shine through the uncolored pages.

Like this one.

And especially this one.

Finally, thanks to Dune, kids were able to color in dead bodies. They were also free to choose what color to make the boils on the Baron's face. But it wasn't all coloring. There were puzzles as well.

The first part of the answer is "They tried to take the life of my son."

Giving one of these coloring books to a kid in the eighties would ensure troublesome teenage rebellion in the future, through strong evidence for the claim "My parents never understood me." Thankfully, this means that there are no pages colored, no puzzles solved, no human markings of any kind. It really makes me wonder where exactly these have been in the past twenty five years. It's not as if they're in mint condition. They've clearly been opened plenty, so someone has been flipping through them. It makes sense now with Dune collectors, but there probably weren't many of those in 1984. Someone had to buy the books first, and not use them. What may have been some kid's disappointment all those years ago is now one of my favorite pieces of property. For enthusiasts of weirdness, these coloring books take the spice cake.

There was technically a sixth book to go along with these, but it's a bit different. And by different, I mean it's a pop-up book. Yes, Dune has one of those. I own it. And it's awesome.

Yeah, you know you love it.

In the front and back of the book are little punch out characters and vehicles, probably to be used with the pages of the book. I thank God on my knees that none of these were punched out over the years, nor have any fell out, though some of them are getting close, so I have to be gentle when folding out those pages.

There are four scenes presented in pop up form. It may not seem like a lot, but someone did a great job with this book, because each scene makes me pee a little. I took the liberty of photographing the best one for your viewing entertainment.

Yep, the worm. You were expecting the Addams Family?

All these Dune products for a movie most kids would be unable to comprehend. It all contributes to making Dune a unique film, one that will never happen again. It took the combination of a strange but well written and popular science-fiction story, cult director David Lynch, who had never before and would never again direct a big budget film, a mix of character actors and unknowns, and this crazy marketing campaign to make Dune what it is.

At the time of its release, Dune was a notorious movie bomb, at least in America (it was big in Japan). Today, this is not so much the case. The film became more successful when released to home video, and today can be purchased on Blu-Ray. The cult impact is undeniable. Of course there are still naysayers, but such is the case with any cult film, which is what makes it "cult." I myself had the pleasure of watching the film, on Blu-Ray, on the big screen, and I was blown away. Clearly, this is a film meant to be seen on a large scale. The lavish set design can only be truly appreciated on a theater screen. There were high aspirations for Dune, and it shows in the detail.

Dune is a very special film for me. I don't pretend that it's the greatest film ever made, and it certainly has flaws, but perfection is not what I seek in cinema. What I seek is entertainment, and to be reached on some emotional level. I want movies that people enjoyed making and, come success or failure, tried their best. Dune is such a film. I watched it Christmas morning, and in fact watched it again last night. It never gets old, and continually leaves me in awe at its power and scope. In fact, the film has become a sort of religious experience in itself. It's a difficult thing to put into words, but those who make the effort of understanding the film will understand that if you go along with it, Dune will carry you through space and time. A place beyond your dreams. A movie beyond your imagination.

Note: All references to the Dune film refer to the original David Lynch cut of the film. I've seen the Extended Version and it really, really sucks.

Well, what the hell.

It's been a while, but Secondhand Jesus is finally ready to get back into the blogging game. Since I last reported in about a year ago, I've wasted plenty of my money on cool stuff, so I can get to some of that maybe later on. I also will be blogging about whatever I find in any store, not just St. Vinny's, because I don't live so close to a Vinny's at the moment, and I don't think anybody will care anyways. Is anybody even reading this? Let's get to it.

I got paid on Friday, and Secondhand Jesus was itching to spend. Spend I did, but have no regrets, as usual. Since I'm keeping Secondhand in the title, I figure I'll get to the secondhand stuff first. This stuff came from The Yard Sale, a store in Laurium, MI if you didn't know. I've spent a lot of time and money there, but it was all worthwhile.

Paperbacks!

I ended up with a lot of science fiction, and though it wasn't intentional, there's something really cool about old sci-fi paperbacks with their strange covers. These are books that feel great to hold in your hand, and they all have that musty smell that belongs in old books. They were a buck or two a piece, which is an acceptable price.

I've read and own the first three Dune books. This is my second copy of Dune and my third copy of Dune Messiah. After watching the Dune film by David Lynch last summer, I fell into a sort of craze, but I'll get to that in a future post. The third book on the top is ten short stories by the author of Dune, Frank Herbert. This is the book I was most excited to purchase, because it was the only one I didn't know existed. Discovery is a great feeling, and goes to show how much better it is to shop in stores rather than online, as I can find items I never knew I wanted until they're in my hand.

I need to read more Vonnegut, so that was a great find, and I've been wanting to read Brave New World for a few years now but haven't seen it secondhand until now. As for The Puppet Masters, I picked that up because I always thought the title was cool, not to mention that the cover kicks ass, and I know Heinlein is a big name in sci-fi books. Now I've got more great reading at my disposal.

I also found a DVD at the Yard Sale, but I'll get to that with the other DVDs. The rest of this shit I got from Wally World.

DVDs!

On the bottom is the first three Alien movies in one regular package, which I found at The Yard Sale for seven bucks. Three movies, seven bucks. You just can't beat that kind of price. The disks all look like they're in pretty good shape, so essentially it was the type of good deal I live for.

On top are two five dollar movies from Wal-Mart. For movies like these, five dollars is a triviality. North by Northwest is one of Alfred Hitchcock's best films, starring Cary Grant in one of his most memorable roles. It's a must see film with everything from comedy to action to suspense to romance. Anyone who hasn't seen this film is seriously missing out. 12 Monkeys is a film by Terry Gilliam, well known for his crazy ass movies. I've only seen it once, but it's just the kind of crazy I like to have on my DVD shelf. After I saw 12 Monkeys I watched the short experimental film it was based on, La Jetee. Both recommended if you're into oddball cinema.

Legos!

As a youngling, Legos were some of my favorite toys, and in retrospect, probably the best toy of all time. Recently, I caught the Lego bug once again, so I came home with a couple small pieces.

 

 This is the Bunny Suit guy from the latest Lego Minifig line. Basically you get a small bag with all the pieces of a mystery figure inside, waiting to be put together. There are twelve or so in all and are marketed as a "Collect Them All" type of deal. I was hoping for a Space Marine, but this guy was like my #2 for obvious reasons. He's just a really crazy guy.

 Avengers Legos! I loved the Avengers movie so much I saw it twice in the theater, so of course I wanted some Legos to go with. This is the Captain America cycle set, which is currently the only Lego set to come with the Captain America minifig. That much alone makes it worth it, but it also comes with two different minifigs of the Chitauri, the villains of the movie.

Though Cap never rides this in the movie, it's still a cool little piece, and makes a great vehicle for Cap. The only downside to this set is the friggin' decals on the two different vehicles. Do they have to be impossible to put on straight? There are no marks on the platic pieces for where the decals should go, so it's up to the buyer to get them on straight on their own. Of further complication is the fact that the decals are clear, which means they pick up every bit of oil or dead skin on your fingers as you try to make it not so obviously diagonal. Decals suck, because they can make or break a toy. If you put them on shitty, you're stuck with that, no matter how cool the toy might be otherwise. Wash your hands before messing with them.

Well that's all I have for this time around. It's been great having something to think about other than my job, so I'll be back with more updates soon. Until then, take it sleazy.

Collection Anxiety

So it's come to that time, the end of another semester, and with that, the end of my project. The blog has had a good run, so I'll keep it up when I can. Check back sporadically for updates. Assignment or not, I love to buy the good stuff. The blog also makes a good outlet for showing off the massive amount of various objects I already own, so expect a bit of that as well.

Anyways, I wanted some closure for the project, so I figured I'd update on everything that I've accumulated through my St. Vinnie's explorations. I think a picture would help.

How many entries can you find? Which entries are missing? Which items in the picture
never got an entry? Who really cares?

So now the question is, what to do with all of this stuff? The action figures are keepers, even the ones I already own. I maintain the philosophy that one can never own too many action figures. You never know when you might need that back up. And the giant Leonardo. He has to stay. Most of the glassware I'd like to keep as well, most of all the Wizard of Oz glass, and the kidney coffee mug. Those things rule.

I can't keep it all, sadly, so what to get rid of? Certainly Lord of the Dance (which I haven't watched, in case you were wondering). The Mickey rap tape can go, too (I did listen to it, and it was as shitty as you would expect from a tape featuring rapping Disney characters and Whoopi Goldberg). Doctor Dreadful will probably have to go too, because I just don't think I have the room. I'd like to try to get some money for it, since it has so many unopened packs. As much as I wanted to try some, I couldn't bring myself to open the pack and destroy the value. Maybe I'll open just one...

Well, there you have it. Thanks to everyone who read the blog over the semester. If you're interested in seeing future posts, leave me some comments so I know people still want to read this crap. Secondhand Jesus signing off (for now).

Foils & Feats

I feel like I could type some sort of introduction here, but I don't think I'm going to. I had a great find, a pretty good find, and my first St. Vincent's rip-off. I also somewhat profited from a secondhand item by trading it in at another store for a different piece of merchandise, so I'll be getting to all that, but not necessarily in that order.

Bruce Wayne Action Figure!

I knew that this was a Bruce Wayne right away, because he looks like Michael Keaton. And of course, on his leg is stamped "1990 DC Comics." This places him within the action figure line of the first Tim Burton Batman movie, my personal favorite.

The figure isn't one I would have wanted from the store brand new as a kid, but for a quarter I couldn't pass it up. It is a strange look for Batman, though. Since when does Bruce Wayne go around in a purple turtleneck sweater and black spandex pants tucked into his shoes? And what's with the weird, cryptic bat logo on his chest? Is that his way of avoiding denial without giving himself away? It's not very practical, if that's truly the case.

Cost of Bruce Wayne figure: $.25

RIPOFF: "Spiderman" Game!

Okay, so I saw this Spiderman PlayStation game all wrapped up in a plastic bag with a good, cheap price on it. It's a decent game, so I figured what the hell. Now, the game was wrapped up pretty tight, but I was able to open the case enough to see that there was a disk inside of it, so I figured that would be good enough. Only when I got home did I make the horrible discovery.

Can you see what that is? It sure as hell isn't a Spiderman game. Nope, it's a DEMO DISK from PlayStation magazine, dated August 2001. It's mostly video previews with a single playable demo: Final Fantasy 8. Demo Disks blow. This shit wasn't worth my money, that's for sure. At least there's the old stand-by of the blog to make the event somewhat worthwhile. See, kids? Even Secondhand Jesus gets ripped off sometimes. You can never be too careful.

Cost of Bogus "Game": $1.44

Secondhand Trade-off: Tiny Toon Adventures NES Game!

Okay, so a while back at Vinnie's I happened upon a copy of Killer Instinct for the Super Nintendo. I already own the game, and in fact it came packaged with my Super Nintendo, but the price was right ($1.44) so I figured I could eventually trade it in somewhere for a game I don't have. And what do you know? I was right.

The other day, I had to go to the mall and such to run a few errands, so I took Killer Instinct with me and stopped at the Play N Trade store. They offered to give me $3 store credit, which I happily accepted. I then zeroed in on a game I had wanted since childhood, marked $5.

That's right, Tiny Toon Adventures on the NES. It's a fun game that I remember playing as a kid at a friend's house. I never had my own Nintendo as a kid, so when I got one a couple of years ago, I became driven to collect all the good games my friends had. Tiny Toon Adventures was a great show back in the day, so I'm proud to have this game amongst my collection. Thanks to my secondhand dealings, I was able to get a new game for myself as well as reinsert Killer Instinct, a great game, back into the video game market. I'm sure it will sell from Play N Trade in no time, and a fellow old schooler will have tracked down their own missing classic. It brings a tear to my eye.

Cost of Tiny Toon Adventures: $2 total

Power Rangers Morph Into Math Activity Book!

Whoa, mama. Printed in 1994, this Power Rangers math book has never been marked in those almost twenty years. With the amount of sticky gunk stuck to the cover at first, I could tell this had been sold at more than one store during that time. But who cares about any of that, this is the Power Rangers! If I had been given a Power Rangers math book as a kid, I probably wouldn't have failed at it for twelve years. I was simply trying to learn math, when I should have been morphing into it.

The Rangers attempting to morph into math. Not quite there yet.

Finally. Only those who have truly morphed into math may receive the certificate of power.

I was a fan of Power Rangers in kindergarten, and only the first run of it, mind you. All that turbo, space, time traveling crap was after my time. The first Power Rangers kicked ass. I liked the Black Ranger, who was actually "black." Funny. The Yellow Ranger was Asian. That show was racist.

Cost of Power Rangers Morph Into Math: $.56